Tag Archives: clouds

Day 158


good morning. a hard morning.  it was thursday, march 12. my phone rang at 2:30 and i knew immediately what the call was about. my mom called to tell me my dad had passed away.   i have lived the last year almost in dread of march 12. like it was going to happen all over again. i went through the first birthdays, thanksgiving, christmas, without him. now memories of what happened flood back with lightning speed.  remembering how sad i was a year ago makes me sad. people tell me it will get easier. my sister says she survived with therapy and medication. death hurts. sorrow is so painful.  so unfair.

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Day 130


a reminder that God is still in control of all things, timing. things happen when he wants them to happen.

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arise sunshine. warm us. entertain us. grow us. change us. heal us. i talked with mom yesterday and she said, “one day at a time.” what a way to live where every day is new. a gift, really. a day to live or die.  dad’s cancer is back.  in fact it never left. it is still ravaging his blood.  the intense chemo failed its mission. so now we wait. again. questioning if this experimental drug will work.  questioning God: “what is going on!??!!??!!”  as the sun rises this morning i think of my dad who awakens to a new day.  he is alive.  but for how much longer?  will we see the mighty, merciful hand of God at play? dad is going home tomorrow to try and live in the comfort of his home with his wife.  each day is a gift.  please, God, let my dad be gifted with thousands of more  days.

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mt. washington. probably the most iconic site in new hampshire. i’ve driven up the treacherous auto road once. i’ve hiked it once. i even rode up on a cog.    the husband and i were able to have dinner and spend the night in the just as iconic mt. washington hotel and resort.  an old hotel boasting hallways similar to that seen in the movie, the shining.  it was nice to be treated to a delicious meal and enjoy a kid free night. no fighting bedtime routines. i was able to watch what i wanted on the tv. i could stretch out on the massive king sized bed (putting our queen to shame).  i woke up to the view above. and i  did not bring my camera.

for those of you who follow this blog and the story of my dad, the update is this: he is slowly getting well. all weekend, especially, i was holding my phone ever so tightly, in fear that i would get ‘that call’ from my mom that my dad has passed.  the phone never rang. in fact i didn’t hear from mom at all making me fear the worse. today i called and talked to them both. he will have another bone marrow biopsy tomorrow to see if the AML cells have been terminated. despite being weak, he is well.

please keep praying.

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wonder held in an iPhone. magnificent colors one late afternoon.

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