day.one.hundred.four.

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this picture was taken new year’s eve. my last day at my parents’ house. my boy seen sitting on the couch. the magical glow of a christmas tree.  i have not been taking pictures lately.  life got in the way and i let it. instead, i have been thinking back to my time here just a few weeks ago.  when i left my dad had just started a second, more harsh, round of chemo.  today i found out it didn’t work. the leukemia cells are fighting back. and winning.  the doctors do not want to put dad through another round of chemo right away. so they are sending him home with an experimental drug.  our hope now lies in the unknown.  scratch that. as a christian i should say my hope is in our heavenly father. it is. believe me. will he use this unknown drug to perform a miracle? i feel like this is what it will take.  my dad has no other option now. before, we were hoping the chemo would  work. it didn’t. now we hope.  this could be our last hope.  my favorite story in the bible revealing and intimate interaction with jesus is of a woman who was suffering with an incurable disease for over ten years. i’m sure she tried everything under the sun, placing her hope in all of them. until one day (probably right before she was about to give up) she heard rumors that jesus was in town.  she found the strength to muscle her way through the crowd with such determination to just touch jesus. and she did. she reached out to cling to the hem of his robe. with tremendous faith that he would heal her, he did. the bible says jesus stopped dead in his tracks because he felt the power go through him. i believe jesus was there that day for her. he knew her ailment. her incurable disease. he loved her and had compassion for her and saw her tremendous faith. and he healed her. all she did was cling to his robe, clutching ever so tightly. i know my dad is clinging on. we all are. wanting to have God feel the power move through himself and wave over my dad’s body. we want to see a miracle.

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