day.fifty.nine.

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woke up to ice covering everything. the trees. the grass. the car. the streets. the dead mum out back.  it’s been a week since my dad was hospitalized for what we now know to be AML. a form of leukemia. it didn’t help at all that someone i was talking to day about my dad said her own dad died of the same thing.  he lived for three years and then the suffering ended.  as christians we believe that there is a better place. heaven. a place that is more glorious than we could ever imagine. but when someone we love leaves us for heaven, we are left here. apart. separated. i don’t want to think my dad will be leaving us soon. in fact mom wrote to say he is doing well.  “almost normal.”  this initial round of chemo is ending today. they will do another bone marrow biopsy to see if the bad cells were killed.  but now he is at risk of infection. being at risk is what scares me.   what scares me is getting that phone call from mom, before i can be with her. that he is gone.  i believe in a God with whom nothing is impossible. yes. it is possible for God to heal my dad. completely. but will He?  what is His will?  we lay in wait.

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