day three hundred.twenty.two

PB190289

we had a wonderful time, son and i, watching the trucks and marching bands parade by. the question all morning was, ‘will we see santa?’ it is hard to believe that this same forty pound bundle of joy was such terror later in the day. i think he realizes his self-centered world is now off balance and no longer revolves around him and he is not going to give it up easily. and he feels that the way to justify any wrong done to him is through physical aggression. combine these two emotions and he explodes. i try to think of how i could have prevented his meltdown {there have been several of late}. maybe i should have forced him to nap today. maybe i should not have let him get out of bed early. maybe i failed some where, some how. it is horrifying to be ‘those parents’ that are dragging their son kicking and screaming out of a birthday party. we have ‘that kid’ whose strong will is being crushed and the only way he can voice his opinion is to scream with a decibel level shared with a piercing train careening down a broken track. so we come home and put him to bed and he falls asleep instantly. an hour before normal bed time. now we rest and lay in wait to see if what we tried to teach him tonight about loving those who do us wrong resonate at all.

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